Dating

DATING

LEVEL: Intermediate

How to win a girl´s heart - wear a sombrero

INTRODUCTION

My first ever date was to see the Will Smith film ´Enemy of the State´ with a girl I´d met in a pub when I´d been underage drinking. I was 16. I had to wait 3 years until my second date to see ´The Mummy Returns´ with a Russian ballet dancer I´d met while working in a pub as a glass collector. We didn´t even kiss. The next year, in my second year of University, I went to see Nicole Kidman´s ´The Mummy 3´ with a Swedish girl. I  paid for the film ticket and a pizza and I still didn´t even get a kiss. I asked her but she said ´no´. Funny, I can barely remember the girls, but I do remember those top quality films. 

As I look up at my Blue ray editions of ´the Mummy Returns´ and ´Enemy of the State´, I know I´ve come a long way and that though this Mr Bombastic was late to flower, I´ve at least been a lover, lover man in my life.

READING: 

ROMANTIC ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD BASE KIND

Here are 3 stories by real life daters. Only one of them ends happily ever after, can you tell me which one?

Tamara from the US

´´I´ve been going steady with O-Dog for about 3 weeks. I´ve never been this serious about a guy before. He´s really the cutest gangbanger in all the world. My mum set us up on a blind date on a reality tv show. We went kite surfing and base jumping. We spoke for hours about how much we hate school, the taliban and ourselves. After the film crew left, O-Dog drove me to Blueberry Hill where we necked. O-Dog got to first base. On our third date, we met at Starbucks for some coffee. O-Dog told me he didn´t want to play the field anymore and that he had dropped his booty calls and friends with benefits. He was sick of being a player and wanted to settle down on a ranch somewhere and grow tobacco. He asked me to be his bitch and I said yes. As he drove me home I knew I wanted to go all the way. I invited him in for more coffee. After we had coffee, O-Dog hit a home run and took my cherry. The next morning we went to the waffle house.´´

Keith from Cyber Space

´´I met Sally on-line. We met in the virtual chatroom Second Life. I was wearing a top hat and bow tie and carrying a poached egg. She was dressed as a dominatrix and carrying a broadsword. It was love at first click. She replied LOL and PMSL to all my jokes and started seducing me with flying acrobatics. After we´d had cyber sex, we agreed to meet up L8R that night on World of Warcraft. I was already thinking about introducing her to my parents by skype.  I was sure that this was someone I could raise a tamagotchi with. But when I logged on I had to wait ages for her to accept my chat invitation. When she finally accepted it, I expressed how upset I was  :( . WTF? I asked. She said sorry, but I wasn´t her type. She´d been seeing another guy whose font size was bigger than mine. OMG.´´

Boonga from the Paleolithic Age:

´´I´d known Oglok many moons. Ever since his tribe of hunter gatherers  had ravaged my tribe and stolen our farmlands. I was the daughter of our tribe´s leader whom he boiled in a pot and ate. It  was a bad first impression. Our tribe had been cultivating the land and had even begun grooming and personal hygiene but Oglok only wanted to throw spears at living creatures and throw stones at rocks. My father had invented the wheel but Oglok and his hairy faced scavengers were ignorant and seemed to have very little to offer except cannibal cuisine and head lice.

When Oglok took me for his bride I fought back hard and scratched his eye out. But the shaman urged me to give Oglok another chance. One night I went to Oglok´s cave, dressed in my best mud bikini. Oglok obviously wanted to impress me because he had made a fire. Big deal, I grunted, I also can make fire. He had cooked me a mammoth knuckle sandwich. No thanks, I grunted, I only eat root vegetables. Oglok seemed upset but then he took some blood from the mammoth carcass and began to paint the cave walls. He painted Oglok the hunter, Oglok the homemaker and Oglok the husband. When I saw those pictures, I fell in love with Oglok. We were happily married for 2 summers but then Oglok was tusked to death by a mammoth, though I suspect my current husband Bograth had something to do with it. I still have Oglok´s eye as a keepsake, his pictures on the walls and occasionally a louse in my moustache or naval fur to remember him by.´´

GLOSSARY: 

Tamara´s Story:       to go steady with - to date someone

                               to set someone up - organise a date for someone else

                               to neck - to kiss

                               first to third base, home run - baseball analogy of progress from touch to intercourse

                               booty calls - girls you call to have intercouse with (unpaid)

                               friends with benefits - amizade colorida

                               to play the field - para jogar o campo / see many women or men

                               to be a player - to have many women

                               to go all the way - transar

                               take someone´s cherry - deflorar alguem

Keith´s Story:          LOL - Laugh out loud

                               PMSL - Pissing myself laughing/ me mijando de rir

                               L8r - Later/ mais tarde

                               WTF - What the fuck?

                               OMG - Oh My God

Oglok´s Story:         hairy - peludo

                               head lice - piolhas

                               mammoth knuckle - junta de mamote  ou vagina 

                               hunter - caçador 

                               homemaker - dona de casa mas homem ou mulher

                               husband - marido

ASSIGNMENT:

1) Video Lesson: Perfect-O-Date
Watch this bad 80´s dating video and answer the following questions....
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWxgG9vPwN4
Part A: Answer with one of the following names: LOUIE, HUSAM, JEFF, MELVIN, FRANK, KAI, DAVID

1. Who likes disco?
2. Who has a long beard?
3. Who isn´t wearing glasses?
4. Who is a limousine driver?
5. Who sells used cars?
6. Who lives in California?
7. Who describes himself as a ´steak and potatos kind of guy´ and what do you think that means?

Part B: Watch the video again and answer the following questions

1. HUSAM: Where is Husam from? What is he looking for? What kind of woman is he after?
2. LOUIE: What kind of food does Louie like?
3. MELVIN: What does Melvin like?
4. KAI: What does Kai like?
5. JEFF: What is Jeff sick of? What´s his hobby? What kind of woman is he looking for? What would he like to do with his girlfriend?

See ANSWERS page at top of Blog. 

2) Writing: Write your own WLTM (Would Like To Meet...) advert for the classified section of an English speaking website or newspaper. Include the following information:
Name/ Age/ Job/Physical Description/ Turn ons (o que me atrai) / Turn offs(o que não me atrai)/ Romantic History/ WLTM or Description of the kind of partner you´re seeking

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