Collections

COLLECTIONS:

Level - Intermediate and above

NOTES ON COLLECTING:

real life naval fluff

Anything can be collected from bones to seashells to belly button fluff to memories. Collecting is a fundamental part of our development as human beings. Our primordial ancestors collected dna chromosomes to become us. Churches and kings collected our wealth. Science is the concerted effort by several superior collectors in many different fields to explain away the mysteries of the universe. And in our day to day lives, we have bin men who collect the rubbish.

look on my collection ye mighty
and despair

There´s something weird about collectors. The money they could be spending on going to the pub, having a nice meal or donating to charity, is spent on amassing a huge quantity of stuff that is of no interest and limited access to anyone but themselves. It´s as if a mummified pharaoh were entombing himself with all his treasures, hoping to carry it with him to the afterlife. Perhaps all collectors secretly dream of their own wing, nay their own museum in some future civilisation. 

What drives people to collect? Is it the ´metaphysical angst´ described by novelist Jose Saramago, in which the individual ´cannot bear the idea of chaos being the one ruler of the universe´ and thus uses their limited powers to ´impose order on the world´ for a brief time. Or could it be that blue rays and comics are cool?

Dennis Hopper ponders potted plant

Some collectors are obsessed with the unique, rare and original. Art collectors will outbid each other by millions of pounds to own a famous painting, or a non-famous painting by a famous artist. The actor Dennis Hopper was a collector of modern art. His house was full of expensive paintings. I´m sure there are many of his fans who collect Dennis Hopper memorabilia and so bring balance to the universe. 

Collecting is an intrinsically selfish hobby but the collecting world provides social opportunities with comic-cons and swap meets. Sometimes a collection becomes a third-party in intimate relationships. It´s a case of ´Love me, Love my Collection´. Okay, you might say, if it´s just records or happy meal toys, but would you put up with someone who collected rare flesh-eating diseases and kept them in the fridge? A collection can easily become a bone of contention when two people don´t share the same appreciation of what´s collected (see Assignment).

Neruda´s love nest, book shelf
includes How to Pick Up Women

In Santiago Chile, you can visit Pablo Neruda´s house. The national Poet was also a collector. He liked to collect different coloured glasses from which to drink his wine, as well as books, paintings, maps and, of course, shells. He also collected erotic experiences and put them in his poems.

before and after crystal meth

In London, opposite Euston station, is a great little museum called The Wellcome Collection. The permanent exhibition Medicine Man has artifacts from around the world showing the historical development of medicine in different cultures. You can see weird sex toys from Shogun Japan, Napoleon´s toothbrush, torture chairs or dentist chairs and some old illustrations of consumptive diseases as shown. They were collected by the Victorian Sir Henry Solomon Wellcome.

We don´t stock Bieber

Nick Hornby writes about his passion for collecting records in the book Hi-Fidelity. This was adapted into a film starring Jack Black and John Cusack. Another good book on obsessive collectors is the non-fiction The Orchid Thief by Susan Orleans about the eccentric world of orchid collecting. That was also adapted into the not-quite-true-to-the-book ´Adaptation´ starring Nicholas Cage.  Both films are in my friend Alex´s awesome blue ray collection of over 300 blue rays. But no he hasn´t contacted the Guiness Book of Records yet. 

GLOSSARY:

Belly button fluff – sujeira em seu umbigo

Sea shells - conchas do mar

Bin men – coletores de lixo

To amass - acumular

To entomb - enterrar

To impose - impor
Outbid - ultrapassar

Comic Con – Con is short for convention/ convenção ou reunião

Swap meets – reuniões de troca

Third-party – terceiro

Bone of contention – ponto do conflito

Artifacts - artefatos

ASSIGNMENT:

TASK A) DINER – Don´t Touch My Records

Available on Blue Ray

 Diner is a 1982 film set in the late fifties about a group of friends becoming adults. Watch this scene from the movie and answer the following questions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXjCtgiUEu8 See ANSWERS link at the top of the blog.

Questions:

1. What is Beth doing when Schrevie comes in? What does she say she´s doing?
2. What is Schrevie´s procedure for organizing records?
3. Where shouldn´t James Brown and Charlie Parker be? Where should they be?
4. What instrument does Charlie Parker play?
5. What does Schrevie never do with his friends?
6. What is the opposite of the hit side?
7. Why are records important to Schrevie?
8. Why is 1955 and ´Ain´t that a shame´ important?
9. At the beginning of the scene, what did Beth intentionally do?

TASK B) WRITING - MY COLLECTION

Have you ever collected anything? Do you know someone who is a collector?

 Write a short essay about a collection you or someone else has/had, answering the following questions:

preparing for the witches of Oz or the aliens
from Signs? world´s biggest collection
of super soaker water pistols! if only all weapons
were water pistols! think of it the world´s
biggest wet tshirt contest...

What do you collect? When did you start collecting? Why did you start collecting? How long have you been collecting for? What is your most prized possession and why? Is there anything you´d like to get for your collection but haven´t yet? What do your family and friends think about your collection?

If you want to invent a collection you can! Why not be a collector of poisonous snakes or moon rock or even old finger nails or pubes?

Below you can read about a collection I had...

MY COLLECTION: MARVEL COMICS

I still remember the smell of my first Marvel Comic. It was an issue of the Guardians of the Galaxy and I rubbed it all over my face.  I had already been interested in comics for a while but the comics I used to read were usually about naughty school kids and their dogs getting into trouble, the Guardians were different. They were adults doing serious adult things, like defending the galaxy and fighting. The guys were muscular and the women wore revealing spandex costumes that showed off their curves. This was crack cocaine for 9year olds and I was hooked.

My first ever Marvel

I´d bought the comic because I´d heard two of my friends talking about Marvel. I felt a little left out and so when I got home from school I rooted around the house, looking for my mum´s cheque book so I could write a cheque for 75p. I never told my friends I´d begun collecting Marvel Comics, in fact it was a secret from everyone but my own family. Once I fell in love with Marvel Comics I didn´t want anyone else to share in them. They were mine, all mine.

I collected Marvel Comics for about 5 years. I mainly bought Spiderman and Ghost Rider, but any title with the big block M in the top left corner was a welcome addition to my collection as was any paraphernalia: toys, keyrings, badges, etc. Comics from other rival houses were also accepted, unless they were DC comics like Batman. Never DC.

Prized Possession!

 My most prized items in my collection were probably an issue of Spectacular Spiderman where Harry  Osborne aka the Second Green Goblin dies saving his old best friend/enemy Peter Parker, and a Spiderman hologram I received from Marvel Uk for a letter I wrote them.

I´d like to say I stopped collecting comics because I started dating girls. But no. My interest in being forever Marvel began to fizzle out once I started collecting videos. I basically took all that passion, possessiveness and pedantry and focused it on another thing.  To this day, I still collect comics, though not Marvel ones, and usually only in graphic novel form. Ironically, the graphic novels I like are usually by DC, who have great writers like Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman who write adult stories.

Alan Moore writes Swamp Thing

I believe that once a collector, always a collector. My collecting nowadays verges on hoarding. i.e. not throwing anything away. Rather, I´d say I´m a selective hoarder because I throw 99 per cent away, but keep all the remaining 1 per cents. I collect things that say more about my memories and experiences, things which are symbolic of my interests rather than being comprehensive for comprehensive´s sake. I think the Internet has changed the way we collect too, with a huge amount of rare comics, films and music instantly accessible by anyone at anytime. My record collection is now mainly in cd wallets, and over 60 per cent downloaded. I don´t have the money to buy originals, I can´t afford blue rays or vinyl, so I have to make up for this with the originality of my collection.

GLOSSARY:

Naughty - desobediente

Get into trouble – entrar em apuros

Revealing – roupas reveladoras

Hooked - viciado

Left out  - excluídos

Rooted – buscou

Pedantry - pedantice

To fizzle out - fracassar

To Hoard - acumular
To make up for - compensar